• How was your day?
• What’s For Dinner?
• How Do You Feel?

If you are trying to set the mood then the last thing you want to do is recreate the day – whether it was good or bad; now is not the time for it. You are aiming to create a new mood and a new zone of happiness. Your conversation will be more effective if it revolves around:

More intense and purposeful questions

• What really turns you on?
• How does it make you feel when I touch you?
• What is your fantasy?

Five Basic Needs

According to Maslow we have basic needs that must be met in order for us to live and survive in our world:

1. Physiological
2. Safety
3. Love
4. Esteem
5. Self-Actualization

I wanted to put together a resource that you will find valuable and at first, that seemed difficult until I realized what you really want. What people want is that exciting kind of nervous feeling in the pit of their stomach when they look into their lover’s eyes. What you want is to recreate that feeling of “the first time.” What better gem of a jewel could I possibly prepare?

The more you are exposed to something, the more you show favoritism towards it and develop different biases towards it; but as that happens – you begin to get familiar with it to a point that it no longer holds its full potential in the forefront of your mind. The relationship you have with others is no different. It is no different because unless your income level exceeds a range of $100,000 per year in residuals that affords you the opportunity to live in a no-work lifestyle; you must spend a large majority of your days interacting with people, events, places and things – other than your lover.

It would be great if you could devote all your time to your lover and explore the world with her and whisk off into the sunlight at the drop of a hat. But…that’s unlikely. The majority of Americans are not living that American Dream, so as long as you have to deal with life and the exposures to all it has to offer – your attraction to your lover will have it’s up and downs. There are days when spending time with husband is extremely important, but on other days – he just has to wait until tomorrow. Likewise, when your wife is waiting on the bed with the Victoria Secret lingerie on… you aren’t able to mentally focus on her long enough to meet her needs because the quarter reports are due next week.

It’s strange isn’t it? How we have these desires but we are constantly fighting for attention subconsciously. We’re either fighting with our spouse, or we’re fighting with our interpersonal issues that would keep us from truly enjoying and relaxing in a full night of romance, pleasure, and sexual satisfaction..

These five basic needs tie in to our daily lives every second, every minute, every hour and have no respect of persons. The law of familiarity bites us all at some point, on some level and ultimate affects a significant part of our existence… but only if you allow it.

Masturbation, Oral Sex, and Anal Sex are probably the three things that most Christians really force themselves to dismiss all together. These 3 entities are almost like the 3 little pigs that live in different houses composed of different material. In this case they each come with their own set of morals, yet the big bad wolf (the body or pleasure system) seeks to use them all equally because they all yield delight. I admit that it’s frustrating sometimes to see that so many people are missing out on the great possibilities of sexual fulfillment in these areas due to their lack of knowledge or inhibition to try.

There’s a so-called sin, “The sin of Onanism”, which is basically the masturbation sin…except a masturbation sin doesn’t exist, but for the sake of making the point, we’ll call it that.

What people get confused about is the death of Onan because of his withdrawal that led to him spilling his semen on the ground. The story is found in Genesis 38:6-9 and has four simple characters; Tarmar, Er, God, and Onan. Tamar and Er were married but because Er was a wicked man, he was removed from the face of the earth (killed). Jewish tradition (the law) required the brother (Onan) to marry and plant seed (have sex) for his brother Er in order to keep the legacy.

Onan while intimate with Tarmar withdraw and spilled his seed on the ground. Since Onan decided he did not want to produce offspring as required (against the law) and he was killed as well. This scripture is used against masturbation often in that when a man masturbates and ejaculates, his seed (semen) has no place to enter so it is spilled on the ground; the very sin Oman was killed for. For this reason, it ultimately suggests that masturbation is prohibited. It is a perfect example of a scripture that has been manipulated and twisted over the years and is passed down to generation after generation.

The issue of masturbation is biggest for unmarried Christian and single individuals. They want pleasure too without fornication and feel that masturbation is the safest way to achieve enjoyment without committing sin. The question however, isn’t about whether masturbation is right or wrong. Is it? No. The question is can you masturbate without committing mental adultery?

It is often our thoughts and not our actions that make us impure. Since this book is for Christian married couples we will discuss whether the act of masturbation can be performed without committing mental adultery.

There is nothing wrong with exploring your body for goodness sake, it’s your body, created by God and given to you to cherish. We all know that there are times when we can’t be near our spouse. In those times, think of your partner and how you feel when he/she is with you. What makes this process impure is thinking of your neighbor, you know the one next door that has those sexy pair of legs. Or thinking of the sacker at the grocery store with the amazing eyes. That’s what we mean by mental adultery. Forming a fantasy about someone other than your spouse and sexually placing him or her in your mental space.

We actually encourage Christian Couples (who are married only) to participate in some exercises alone away from the opposite spouse. In addition, the exercises work at their full potential when you develop your ability to experience the complete range of sexual sensations without the added stimulation of your partner’s presence.

For some people it seems weird and even absurd to spend money to better your sexual skills, but these are the same people who’ve given up on multiple orgasms and who have given up on enjoying great heart-throbbing sex like the first night all over again. You remember how things used to be?

Some believe that the “skills” to be great and mighty in the bedroom are something that you are born with. With prayer and your humble heart, God will show you how you can improve your marriage and sexual intimacy.

I love being a Christian but if I believed that being a Christian wouldn’t allow me to enjoy the very things God has created for me, I would probably just prepay my ticket to hell on a jet plane. That’s a little tongue-in-cheek but I don’t believe that being a Christian means that my sex life has to be boring because it would be contradictory — I know you’ve probably felt the same way or had heated debates with other Christians who believed differently than you as well.

Isn’t it weird how we’re all Christians, we all have the same body parts, we all read the same bible (allegedly), but we all come up with different answers and beliefs? That is called interpretation and I think as an owner of the book, you want more answers and you want more satisfaction.

Once you understand what the bible says about sex and how your body works, you will be able to enjoy sex like you never have before… I know because it’s happened in my marriage and we’ve been able to help other couples achieve a new level of happiness in their marriage in a short amount of time. The list of benefits is too long to list here but true happiness is probably one of the best things you can ever get in life. Instead of going to work with a sad face you can go to work with a happy face and be glad to go home because you know that you’ll have another opportunity to be intimate with your spouse. It doesn’t have to be sex, it can be the feeling of a warm kiss against your lips, or a nice big hug when you get home… the kind of hug that is full of love, care, concern, and respect.

It is because of the abuse of sexual pleasure by irresponsible individuals (and couples) that sex gets a bad reputation. Yep. That includes every day life entertainment on Radio, TV, Movies, Music Videos, Billboard Ads, Commercials, etc.
The advertising industry knows that sex sells and it’s used to generate higher profits and wider margins. Why? People are generally driven by and make decisions based on logic and emotion. Sex is deeply connected with emotions. On the surface sex just pleases us physically. But if we dig deeper, we find that sex can make you feel:

• Happy
• Special
• Important
• Sexy
• Younger
• Older
• Powerful
• Beautiful
• Careless
• Excited
• Energetic
• Revengeful
• Evil
• Naughty/Bad
• Popular

As you see, sex can be attached to and invoke almost any kind of feeling at any time; especially with our ability to recall photographic images. The physical, emotional and social aspects of sex make it so good. There is no reason why you can’t experience the goodness of sex in your marriage, especially since it was originally designed for that purpose.

Have fun with sex. Encourage each other to try things “outside the box” that bring you both satisfaction. Release your inhibitions and bathe in the gift that God has created for you to increase intimacy in your marriage.

What does the bible say about sex… and what are the commandments? What’s allowed and not allowed? What about anal sex? The goal of Christian Sex 101 is to encourage you to use many different techniques emotionally, physically, and spiritually that will increase your sexual pleasure and intimacy within your Christian marriage.

To answer the question of what the bible says about Christian Sex, we need to look in Bible scriptures. It makes absolutely no sense to apply philosophies without using the scriptures as a starting point and biblical foundation for our answers.

Remember this: God created sex for us to enjoy. He blessed it and made it GOOD! Here are a few scriptures that speak of sex. Study these scriptures if necessary in your own time. We don’t want to try and verse you in the Bible as much as we want to help you improve your sexual techniques. All the knowledge of scriptures will do you no good if you don’t TAKE ACTION!

Genesis 4:1
And Adam knew his wife, and she conceived.

Intimacy started with Adam and Eve.

Genesis 1:22
And God blessed them, saying, be fruitful, and multiply.”

Adam and Eve showed no indication of shame or hesitation regarding sex or their sexuality.

Genesis 2:25
“They were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”

Exploring each other’s body is wonderful and nothing to be ashamed of.

Proverbs 5:18-19
“Let your fountain be blessed, and the wife of your youth…let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love.”

Your wife was created for your enjoyment and pleasure, allow her body to satisfy you wholly.

Mark 10:6-9
“But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife; and [the two] shall be one flesh.”

You are your spouse’s “help-meet”.You were designed to “help-meet” the needs, goals and desires of your spouse. You have been joined together by God to create a life of sexual happiness together.

Hebrews 13:4
“Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled.”

Remain aware of the fact that God created sex and anything that you and your spouse find exciting and pleasurable, within the confines of your marriage bed is honorable to Him.

Many Christian leaders make it a point to talk “around” the subject of Christian sexuality but they rarely dig into the deeper issue. What kind of sex, how often, what type of sex can Christians have?

Why Are People Ashamed of Christian Sexuality

Not necessarily that people are ashamed, but it’s more of a subject that is left under the rug. Afterall, it’s not a topic that we can just sprout off at the dinner table with our guests. It’s not usually appropriate and not usually called for, plus sex, in many circles is a subject that is personal and private. But on a deeper level overall, we’re scared to talk to our spouse about sex, and what we really want and what we really need… we act sometimes as if we are not ready to get all that God has for us because we’re so busy creating a long list of what –not-to-dos. We never even go as far as discussing how Christian sexuality is relative to pleasing God, because all this were intently created for His glory.

False ideas about sex and sexuality tend to have debilitating effects on the sanctity of Christian marriage. As Christians we really want to do what’s right and we know that we will be rewarded if we do the right things with a pure heart. When it comes to sex, we can take great confidence in the fact that God created sex for our enjoyment, so it is our rightful place to do just that.

Many Christian couples wonder, if there is such a thing as unholy sex. In our communication with other Christian married couples, we have been asked, “Are there any biblical boundaries to sex? We have found that most people ask because they want to be sure that they remain in the will of God, so that their marriage will not be cursed.

“ Sex is GOOD ! ”

There are many scriptures that refer to sex and pleasure and our belief based on those scriptures is that there is no right or wrong way to have Christian sex within your marriage. Your husband is your husband and your wife is your wife; what the two of you do to please each other is essentially “A” Okay. As long as there is mutual consent and respect for one another, sex in your marriage IS GOOD!

When God designed the act of sex it was GOOD, man came along and demoralized it. It is therefore our job as Christian married couples, to reinstate the excellence in sex. Because sex is what molds us together and connects us with each other (not just physically or emotionally but spiritually) we can rest in the fact that sex IS GOOD. Remember, sex can bring us closer to God and each other. It not only strengthens our marriages but it also causes us to relate differently in our relationship with others socially.

In Relationships that are hard pressed to rejuvenate for their survival, the couple knows that the beginnings and endings matter far more than we care to admit. Going to bed the same way every night is boring and one night you’ll catch it and ask for it to end a different way. There are plenty of thousand different ways to end the stale-night-syndrome.

I kind of talked about some ways to prime the juice in your marriage with theChristian Marriage Sex Laws, but the value of goodnight requires our attention.

I recommend reading your spouse a love poem one night, perhaps tonight. A good poem is well written, it should flow from the tip of your tongue easily - and it always has a good meaning to it; it should communicate your deepest appreciation for your spouse in vivid and romantic ways.

That post addressed the idea that a husband who desires anal sex, is being selfish and it is more likely that the wife would only have sex to satisfy her husband’s “selfish” desires. But I tend to think that in a Christian marriage or a secular marriage, any Christian’s Sexual Desire is largely motivated by some percentage of selfishness. It is impossible to ask questions or live life without being selfish. I hope that you understand what I mean here because I think it is important.

Imagine what sex would be like if you NEVER told your spouse what could be better, or what you would like to be better, or what you are most happy with, or what your fantasies are… ?

How can you involve a degree of selfishness in your Christian marriage to improve your Christian Sex Relationship?

We have friends who are married and do not enjoy Christian Sex and wouldn’t know how to improve the sex in their marriage if they tried. Why? Because their relationship is out of kilter from the start. You see. It’s hard to have a great sex life when the other person is not into it as much as you are. Well how do you know if the other person is into it the way you are? You just know - you feel it. Are you gazing in each other’s eyes? If you are walking around your house passing each other without talking, chances are - your relationship could use a tune up before you take the time to improve your Christian Sex Life

But in the meanwhile a romantic bubble bath is in order. Not just any bubble bath, fill the bath with rose petals beyond belief and make sure you have some soft tunes playing in the bubble bath. Exchange the vows all over again, stare in each others eyes and bathe each other. Remember what it felt like when you did this the first time. A romantic bubble bath is not romantic just because it’s a bath - but because you have eliminated all other distractions and the only thing you can concentrate on, is the person sitting across from you.

If you find that you have minimal conversation or nothing romantic to say then… I would be under the assumption that it’s time to talk about some issues that are bothering one of you. Maybe it’s a financial issue, maybe it’s stressful worries about work or the kids. Maybe there are some “secrets” that you need to share with your partner, or maybe you just need to vent out and express your unhappiness with a certain situation, or the way things have been going in the past few months. All of these things are not exactly the greatest romantic conversation pieces…but at least you have an opportunity to sit face to face and talk about them. And this bath can be monumental for the satisfaction you gain from your sex life as a Christian in 2007.

For more information on the Christian Sex - Pleasure System email us at christiansex101@gmail.com anytime!

The reason why Christian Anal Sex is such a touchy issue for many people is because of it’s association to homosexuality. It’s been framed that way probably for the past decade and since the AIDS epedemic became a worldwide scare. I’ve said it before but the bible does not say in plain english “Anal Sex is a sin” but there are a few scriptures that people use to come to the conclusion, that God does not condone the act.

I don’t think anal sex is necessary in order to enjoy a good Christian sex life, but I do see how some people prefer it and I equally understand how many people do not enjoy it based on their worldview, preferences, and body-type, and understanding of the human anatomy. If we want to discuss the idea of having a better sex life as Christians, then it really starts with a better relationship and the foundation of a better sex life is going to almost always begin with better intimacy and romance. Without those two things, there is not much room to discuss the topic of anal sex and how it can fit into a Christian Marriage.

Anal sex requires time, patience, and more time, then it requires more patience. It is not something that a couple can jump right into and be off on their merry way. One of the main benefits of anal sex that husbands appreciate, though this is not discussed elsewhere, is that the anal sex offers a tighter grip on the male genital and this is often impressive and offers an entirely different sensation than that of the vaginal entrance. If the Christian wife is interested in providing her husband with anal sex, then she will certainly need to be open to the idea of anal sex or it will undoubtedly be an uncomfortable experience for both parties.

I wanted to provide some resources you can use to gain additional knowledge and pinpoint how different people in different social circles have different outlooks about anal sex. Obviously, gay Christians who engage in sexual activity can give you many scriptures that, in their mind, support anal sex.

Overall, anyone can use a scripture to justify any act they so chose by taking a bible verse or its collections, and reframing the story to fit their worldview. For that reason, I would say the best thing to do is talk it over with your spouse and pray about it. When I wrote the 7 Rules For Christian Marriage I based those rules on the most important things a relationship needs in order to enjoy a great and mutually satisfactory relationship. Afterall, it does not matter whether you have anal sex or oral sex, the main thing that matters is that you and your spouse have a relationship that allows you to discuss your desires openly, and be intimate with each other more often, and ultimately enjoy a better marriage…a marriage where you can be happy and satisfied with your sex life. That is the goal of the Sex In Christ

In fact, many Biblical passages allude to the act of anal sex between men and women. Lamentations 2:10 describes how “The virgins of Jerusalem have bowed their heads to the ground,” indicating how a virginal maidens should position themselves to receive anal sex. Another suggestive scripture tells of a woman’s pride in her “valley” (referring to her buttocks and the cleft between them) and entices her lover to ejaculate against her backside: “How boastful you are about the valleys! O backsliding daughter who trusts in her treasures, {saying,} ‘ Who will come against me?’ (Jeremiah 49:4) And in the Song of Songs, the lover urges his mate to allow him to enter her from behind: “Draw me after you, let us make haste.” (Song of Solomon, 1:4)

Yahoo Answers discussion about Anal Sex

Anal Sex Statistics for Christians

As posted by: Leaderu.com

Although it is true that some heterosexuals practice occasional oral-to-genital sex (almost 50% and rising) and occasional genital-to-anal sex (about 5%), these are in fact the typical, not occasional, practices of homosexual men. Statistically, oral-to-genital sex is regularly practiced by 95% of gay men, genital-to-anal by 40-70%, manual-to-anal by 40-60%, and oral-to-anal by 30-40%. Variations on these techniques include a number of sado-masochistic behaviors which I will not detail, practiced by 25%; and group sex, in which at least 30% of gay males are experienced. Most of these numbers are at least ten times the rate of the heterosexual population; that is, they are not even remotely comparable.

References To THe Bible Saying Anal Sex Is Not Okay

Form Discussion at NairaLand about whether a href=”http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-4321.0.html”>Anal Sex Is Okay Within Christian Marriage

Forum Discussion at Discover Vancouver about Anal Sex In Christian Marriage The point here being made is again similar to my comments I posted here that anal sex is easily associated with homosexuality, and makes it much harder for Christians to grasp the concept of anal sex being acceptable in marriage.

Anal sex is “out of character” for a Christian marriage: The Bible instructs husbands to love and nurture their wives. Paul wrote, “28Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. 29For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church” (Ephesians 5:28-29 NIV). Paul characterized the husband’s love for his wife as Christ’s love for the church. Such love is to be pure, without any hint of lust.

An appropriate application of this love is to the sexual relationship. Unfortunately, pornography has helped inspire many people to crave sex acts that they might not normally desire. Under the guise of keeping the marriage sex life exciting, many couples succumb to “lust-based” sex (instead of “love-based” sex) by experimenting with perversions like anal sex. For example, A husband who pursues anal sex against his wife’s wishes is being motivated by lust, not love. Furthermore, by having anal sex, he is putting his wife at high risk of contracting various infections. His wife may agree to participate, but most likely only to appease her husband. When this happens, sex becomes more of a spectacle for the husband’s gratification than a mutually-enjoyable, loving experience. As love is removed from the relationship, sex will likely require greater levels of the bizarre to produce gratification (e.g. sex toys, swinger clubs, group sex, bestiality, bondage, fetishes, etc.).

I think I covered a lot of points about Anal Sex in Christian Marriage in the previous post but I still think it is worth doing further research. There is no way there will ever be an end to the debate of whether Anal Sex is right or wrong because there are too many different types of religous types of people who are actually in religion for different reasons. There are many different variables that make up a person’s worldview about the same subject, even though we’re all reading the same bible, and probably getting the same basic Christian teaching at our church. Pastor’s aren’t talking about it, so for hundreds, thousands, of years - we have formulated our own beliefs about what is right and wrong about having Anal Sex.

The Christian Pleasure System is designed to show you have to get the most out of your sex life, but it probably is not the best book to give you a 100% guaranteed “yes you can do this and you won’t go to hell” type of outlook because that is not what we are here for and that is not what our system is about. Our system, including the 7 Rules For Christian Sexprovide you with the techniques to enjoy sexual mastery, sexual freedom, within your Christian Marriage and everything we mention is backed by Scriptures before we even go into any details.

On another note, I think there are ways to make anal sex enjoyable and in the same way that vaginal sex hurt a woman on her first time; that same sentiment will be felt during Christian Anal Sex. Many women do actually enjoy it and some even prefer it over vaginal sex, and those people are no different than you or I.

This is an okay argument and should be understood and respected as I am not here to dictate what is right or wrong for your relationship, but we share different feelings about that situation. Technically, doctors and scientists have praised that anal sex is “okay” and it is not doing the body any harm. The argument that anal sex is wrong reinforces our view that most Christian marriages have a less than exciting sex life all around, because of their fear to try new things and experiment with options they easily dismiss as being a sin or uncomfortable. But here’s a question:

Is asking for oral sex any different than asking for anal sex?

This is a double-edged sword and a slippery slope, no matter how you answer it, the answer is no.

1) The mouth was not designed to be kiss body parts was it? The mouth’s primary function is to help us eat and help us talk. But if you are secretly loving the idea of oral sex…then it makes it very hard to lob the idea that anal sex is wrong.

2) Every request, every desire, every need of sex is selfish. A husband asking for anal sex is no different than a wife asking for oral sex. Sure there are a lot of things that aren’t asked for, but that doesn’t mean that the he/she does not want to ask for them, or may not ask for them later on down the road.

I believe that the whole beauty of sex is being able to ask for more, and being able to try new things…otherwise what do you have? My wife and I were talking the other day about how we were looking forward to 2007 and how other people are extremly dissatisfied with the progress they made in 2006. However you view your year, you have to consider that the year is changing and there is virtually nothing you can do about it to keep it or stop it from coming. But the whole reason why we love NEW YEAR and CELEBRATE New Year is because it gives us a chance to start over with our life. The whole reason that we like it when today ends is because we know tomorrow is coming. As humans, we are in need of a refresh, we are in need of new, we are in need of a new challenge, of being exposed to new ideas, no possibilities. When people refuse to apply this theory to their sex life, then they are inhibiting a natural part of human psychology. I am not saying that you should do every single thing that comes to mind; because some of those thoughts are just going to be wild. But it is also worth knowing a bit about psychology before coming to rash conclusions about what is right and what is wrong.

There are thousands of visits from Christians who are looking for anal sex and come to visit this web page, and while some people would suggest that the husband is pressuring the wife to do so…I believe there are some wives that are curious about anal sex, and yes there is a big rave about anal sex because the porn industry has made it so elegantly desirable.

Almost everything related to sex is debated in Christianity. There are Christians who believe sex is only meant for creation. There are others who believe it should be done in moderation, while others don’t have a problem engaging in naturism, or polygamy. Even though these people read the same King James Version bible, their beliefs can be different than ours.

Where Can Christians Find Anal Sex Mentioned In the Bible

Fornication: Genesis 34:1-7; Deuteronomy 22:13-28; 2 Samuel 13:2-22; 1 Corinthians 6:9, Galatians 5:19; Colossians 3:5; 1 Corinthians 7:8-9
Adultery: Galatians 5:19; Hebrews 13:4; Genesis 39:6-12
Gay sex: 1 Corinthians 6:9; Leviticus 20:13, Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:26-32