How To Communicate With Your Spouse For Better Intimacy
We’ve talked about Christian Masturbation, unhappiness, and whether or not you could really enjoy sex as a Christian. But much of this study deals with re-learning how to be in love and fall in love with the person of your dreams. In foreplay, the role of communication is to further stimulate your spouse to a point of high arousal. Compliments are important to both give and receive because it satisfies one of our basic human needs. While you are setting the mood, the conversation has to lead to some type of purpose. Here are a few of things you want to avoid while setting the mood with foreplay:
The typical dangling conversation starters
• How was your day?
• What’s For Dinner?
• How Do You Feel?
If you are trying to set the mood then the last thing you want to do is recreate the day – whether it was good or bad; now is not the time for it. You are aiming to create a new mood and a new zone of happiness. Your conversation will be more effective if it revolves around:
More intense and purposeful questions
• What really turns you on?
• How does it make you feel when I touch you?
• What is your fantasy?
Five Basic Needs
According to Maslow we have basic needs that must be met in order for us to live and survive in our world:
1. Physiological
2. Safety
3. Love
4. Esteem
5. Self-Actualization
I wanted to put together a resource that you will find valuable and at first, that seemed difficult until I realized what you really want. What people want is that exciting kind of nervous feeling in the pit of their stomach when they look into their lover’s eyes. What you want is to recreate that feeling of “the first time.” What better gem of a jewel could I possibly prepare?
The more you are exposed to something, the more you show favoritism towards it and develop different biases towards it; but as that happens – you begin to get familiar with it to a point that it no longer holds its full potential in the forefront of your mind. The relationship you have with others is no different. It is no different because unless your income level exceeds a range of $100,000 per year in residuals that affords you the opportunity to live in a no-work lifestyle; you must spend a large majority of your days interacting with people, events, places and things – other than your lover.
It would be great if you could devote all your time to your lover and explore the world with her and whisk off into the sunlight at the drop of a hat. But…that’s unlikely. The majority of Americans are not living that American Dream, so as long as you have to deal with life and the exposures to all it has to offer – your attraction to your lover will have it’s up and downs. There are days when spending time with husband is extremely important, but on other days – he just has to wait until tomorrow. Likewise, when your wife is waiting on the bed with the Victoria Secret lingerie on… you aren’t able to mentally focus on her long enough to meet her needs because the quarter reports are due next week.
It’s strange isn’t it? How we have these desires but we are constantly fighting for attention subconsciously. We’re either fighting with our spouse, or we’re fighting with our interpersonal issues that would keep us from truly enjoying and relaxing in a full night of romance, pleasure, and sexual satisfaction..
These five basic needs tie in to our daily lives every second, every minute, every hour and have no respect of persons. The law of familiarity bites us all at some point, on some level and ultimate affects a significant part of our existence… but only if you allow it.
