While I can point out a scripture or you can as well, most often - unless you speak Hebrew and can look at the Hebrew text and read it, or you have researched it, or you speak Hebrew — then this is a loophole conversation that will never-end. Your basis is biblical based on what you read from the Bible you purchased at Christian Bookstore that was translated and then manufactured from a printing factory.

I’d love to have this conversation with you though, when you have studied the ORIGINAL texts (Hebrew) AND the text in the BIBLE. Yes and starting from Malachi chapter 2

The printed bible you refer to is the *END* of a story translated from a writer, and another writer and another writer, who lived under different laws, rules, and moral codes. We will NEVER get to the bottom of living as Christians or being happy sexually if we continue to blatantly ignore the fact that The Bible we are taught from, the Bible that we read - is a funneled version of original text. 99% of people doing the reading and teaching don’t STUDY, don’t RESEARCH, don’t READ, don’t SPEAK, don’t THINK hebrew or jewish text.

(And furthermore are too busy or too afraid to dig it up)

Do you have any idea of what it would be like… if you actually did the research and suddenly discovered… that the other 99% of people are DEAD WRONG too?

What I am confirming with you, is that many it is easy to name a scripture that you read from a Bible to support a fact. I am not going to do that here because I don’t need to. The Bible is necessary, we need it, but you should also understand what it is — and where it came from. Not just what you end up with after you paid $19.95 for it.

You can not apply a 10 word scripture to an entire subject matter in the Bible, unless you study the laws, the history and the time. Marriage is not slavery; nor is it bondage…and IF you study the New Covenant, you will understand more clearly how the Apostles, Paul, and Jesus handled and spoke of Divorce and the parameters of which a spouse could divorce and re-marry.

Let me say this another way - This is the equivalent of watching CNN and saying “CNN newsanchors suggest Gov Sarah Palin is the worst VP presidential pick in the history of this country” when in fact; no one at CNN has ever done the research to figure out the facts of Gov Sarah Palin.

The goal here is to help couples explore sexuality to the fullest; to break THESE kind of psychological-repressing-mental-society-church-uninformed constraints that plague Christian marriages throughout the world. I don’t think this website is intended for these kind of mindsets at all.

Now you can clearly see why I love this website, and how we aim to help Christians really discover what’s real and what’s not. It’s a decision that you have to make. Your sexuality and your relationship with God; is really in your hands - you should be diligent in learning the word of God if you really want to go forward and get the best out of both. It won’t matter what I say, what you say, or what the printing company says.

What will matter though, is that you FULLY understand… the books of the bible Not just the Black book with the Gold text on the outside.

The problem I see is that nobody, when masturbating and thinking about their spouse, is going to conjure up the thoughts about that person that they don’t find so attractive. They are taking from that person what they like and leaving what they don’t particularly like, when in reality, this can’t be done. The person as a whole must be embraced.

I also must say I disagree with you that sexual unhappiness is ever a good reason to terminate a marital relationship. After reading the title of this blog I was under the impression that this was a biblical blog. The Bible only permits divorce in cases of adultery. All married couples face sexual problems some time in their marriages. The key is to be committed enough to work through them by the grace of God. Jesus said “What God has put together, let no man put asunder.”

The same way that you don’t want one spouse cooking vegetables if the other spouse doesn’t want it. Intimacy is not just one particular thing. There are times where one spouse can be the giver and the other the receiver; there are times when both spouses can please each other. The problem is, most people aren’t able to do that.

The real point though; is to be sexually satisfied within the marriage. And we can talk about this all day long but… as we begin to get older and mature; we need to also keep in mind that there IS a level of sexual unhappiness. If one spouse feels sexually unsatisfied; then there is a problem and it may even be worth terminating the entire relationship; if all else fails.

What I don’t believe in, is committing to a lifetime to sexual unhappiness. Masturbation, married or not; can be enjoyed and it should be. This is where 99% of problems start, if you are unable to learn and understand your body; you will never fully be able to GIVE or RECEIVE that pleasure with your spouse.

If you are unable to masturbate without FORCING a fantasy/unrealistic image of your spouse in your head… then that is a true testament that perhaps you are not sexually attracted to your spouse.

What you have identified… is a quick and easy way to determine deeper sexual issues that stretch far beyond masturbation and oxytocin.

With the utmost respect and humility, I think it’s dangerous ground you’re treading on here.

I would appreciate it if someone can answer me on this. My email is leon@destiny.co.za. I stumbled upon this website, I am not married, I am 23 years of age. I got saved at the age of 19 after a rough lifestyle of drugs, alcohol, sexual immorality etc. I have been delivered and free for the last 5 years and am full-time ministry. Travelling, testifying and evangelising. I know I have a call of God upon my life, but have 1 problem. Since I have been saved I haven’t watched pornography or entered into that realm again. But i still struggle with masturbation, not even regularly maybe once a month or so, after doing everything to stop. I have searched the scriptures, prayed many hours a day, tried to cast out devils but nothing works. The body of Christ is very ignorant regards this subject and therefore it is very difficult for me to speak to someone, because I know how even ministers can condemn you for it. If I can get a bit of advice on this it would mean the world to me. Thank you so much