I suggest you go to 1 Corinthians and look at all the principles that Paul gives to the Corinthians on what the right motive is in doing something that pleases the Lord. That would be a good start. Paul did his best not to tell them this is right and this is not but provided principles that should govern our Christian freedom.

Example: They said, “all things are permissible.” He replies not with a list of what is and what is not permissible. He replies “all things are not beneficial.” And while you say “all things are permissible” in Christ, he says “I will not do anything that causes me to be mastered by anything.”

Just two examples of what the Bible says are clear principles about how to handle Christian freedom.

I suppose we differ in that I believe and hold fast to 2Tim 3:16.

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (Albeit, the original Scriptures are inerrant, not the translations).

You are entitled to your own beliefs about the Bible, but the honest thing to do would be to forthrightly let Christians know that you do not hold the Bible to be inerrant or authoritative. Your blog post title is called “Christian Masturbation According To The Word of God”, but much of what you’ve said can’t be found in the word of God, and unfortunately some of it is contrary to the word of God. Christians are reading this believing this is a biblical blog. They have that right to know before deciding whether or not to follow your advice that it is not, nor are you a biblical Christian.

Thank you for the time you’ve taken to respond to my criticisms.

While I can point out a scripture or you can as well, most often – unless you speak Hebrew and can look at the Hebrew text and read it, or you have researched it, or you speak Hebrew — then this is a loophole conversation that will never-end. Your basis is biblical based on what you read from the Bible you purchased at Christian Bookstore that was translated and then manufactured from a printing factory.

I’d love to have this conversation with you though, when you have studied the ORIGINAL texts (Hebrew) AND the text in the BIBLE. Yes and starting from Malachi chapter 2

The printed bible you refer to is the *END* of a story translated from a writer, and another writer and another writer, who lived under different laws, rules, and moral codes. We will NEVER get to the bottom of living as Christians or being happy sexually if we continue to blatantly ignore the fact that The Bible we are taught from, the Bible that we read – is a funneled version of original text. 99% of people doing the reading and teaching don’t STUDY, don’t RESEARCH, don’t READ, don’t SPEAK, don’t THINK hebrew or jewish text.

(And furthermore are too busy or too afraid to dig it up)

Do you have any idea of what it would be like… if you actually did the research and suddenly discovered… that the other 99% of people are DEAD WRONG too?

What I am confirming with you, is that many it is easy to name a scripture that you read from a Bible to support a fact. I am not going to do that here because I don’t need to. The Bible is necessary, we need it, but you should also understand what it is — and where it came from. Not just what you end up with after you paid $19.95 for it.

You can not apply a 10 word scripture to an entire subject matter in the Bible, unless you study the laws, the history and the time. Marriage is not slavery; nor is it bondage…and IF you study the New Covenant, you will understand more clearly how the Apostles, Paul, and Jesus handled and spoke of Divorce and the parameters of which a spouse could divorce and re-marry.

Let me say this another way – This is the equivalent of watching CNN and saying “CNN newsanchors suggest Gov Sarah Palin is the worst VP presidential pick in the history of this country” when in fact; no one at CNN has ever done the research to figure out the facts of Gov Sarah Palin.

The goal here is to help couples explore sexuality to the fullest; to break THESE kind of psychological-repressing-mental-society-church-uninformed constraints that plague Christian marriages throughout the world. I don’t think this website is intended for these kind of mindsets at all.

Now you can clearly see why I love this website, and how we aim to help Christians really discover what’s real and what’s not. It’s a decision that you have to make. Your sexuality and your relationship with God; is really in your hands – you should be diligent in learning the word of God if you really want to go forward and get the best out of both. It won’t matter what I say, what you say, or what the printing company says.

What will matter though, is that you FULLY understand… the books of the bible Not just the Black book with the Gold text on the outside.

The problem I see is that nobody, when masturbating and thinking about their spouse, is going to conjure up the thoughts about that person that they don’t find so attractive. They are taking from that person what they like and leaving what they don’t particularly like, when in reality, this can’t be done. The person as a whole must be embraced.

I also must say I disagree with you that sexual unhappiness is ever a good reason to terminate a marital relationship. After reading the title of this blog I was under the impression that this was a biblical blog. The Bible only permits divorce in cases of adultery. All married couples face sexual problems some time in their marriages. The key is to be committed enough to work through them by the grace of God. Jesus said “What God has put together, let no man put asunder.”

The same way that you don’t want one spouse cooking vegetables if the other spouse doesn’t want it. Intimacy is not just one particular thing. There are times where one spouse can be the giver and the other the receiver; there are times when both spouses can please each other. The problem is, most people aren’t able to do that.

The real point though; is to be sexually satisfied within the marriage. And we can talk about this all day long but… as we begin to get older and mature; we need to also keep in mind that there IS a level of sexual unhappiness. If one spouse feels sexually unsatisfied; then there is a problem and it may even be worth terminating the entire relationship; if all else fails.

What I don’t believe in, is committing to a lifetime to sexual unhappiness. Masturbation, married or not; can be enjoyed and it should be. This is where 99% of problems start, if you are unable to learn and understand your body; you will never fully be able to GIVE or RECEIVE that pleasure with your spouse.

If you are unable to masturbate without FORCING a fantasy/unrealistic image of your spouse in your head… then that is a true testament that perhaps you are not sexually attracted to your spouse.

What you have identified… is a quick and easy way to determine deeper sexual issues that stretch far beyond masturbation and oxytocin.

With the utmost respect and humility, I think it’s dangerous ground you’re treading on here.

I am 57 years old and a South African married Christian living in New Zealand.
I drove a big rig in the USA for a number of years and was obliged to masturbate when I was away from home, or go crazy.
There is absolutely no problem with masturbating. Your body needs to expel the ripened seed from time to time, in the same way that your body excretes other fluids – sweat, urine, faeces, saliva and so on. Your body tells you what you need. As jy juk, moet jy krap! If you’re hungry, your body craves food. If you need to squirt out your seed, you yearn for sex, or for the single person, to masturbate. It’s that simple. Don’t beat yourself up for the way God has wired you. I honestly believe that Jesus masturbated. He has was a red-blooded virile man, still single when He died at 33 years old.
There’s just one thing I want to ask you to do. When you do masturbate, really take your time about it. Bring yourself to the point of almost ejaculating, then slow down and prolong the enjoyment. When you are in control again, carry on, and see how many times you can almost get there before you can’t hold it back any more. That way, when you do get married, you won’t be plagued by premature ejaculation.
Another thing – don’t focus on a fantasy female partner. Just focus on your bodily sensations. Otherwise I think it might be getting into the realm of adulterous thoughts – just my opinion.
Even in marriage, it may be necessary to masturbate. I have to wait a long time sometimes for my wife to be ready for intimacy, otherwise it’s not all that enjoyable for her. When I wait for her to get good and hot, it’s so much sweeter for the waiting.
Feel free to help yourself to my free ebooks on http://www.a1-library.com/complementar.htm about massage for Christians. I think you’ll find the information helpful, too.
And for when you’re married, check out http://www.a1-shecomesfirst.info for fantastic information on how to give the woman you love the best possible experience of love-making, and really bless her.
Good luck, and Shalom
Paul