Christian Masturbation According To The Word of God
Many Christians want to know if there is a secret about masturbation, or if masturbation is a sin. What the bible says about sex has been a mystery for a long time. But to the question of is Christian Masturbation a sin, there is an answer, an answer that not many Pastors or leaders have taken the time to discover or reveal to their flock.
Masturbation, Oral Sex, and Anal Sex are probably the three things that most Christians really force themselves to dismiss all together. These 3 entities are almost like the 3 little pigs that live in different houses composed of different material. In this case they each come with their own set of morals, yet the big bad wolf (the body or pleasure system) seeks to use them all equally because they all yield delight. I admit that it’s frustrating sometimes to see that so many people are missing out on the great possibilities of sexual fulfillment in these areas due to their lack of knowledge or inhibition to try.
There’s a so-called sin, “The sin of Onanism”, which is basically the masturbation sin…except a masturbation sin doesn’t exist, but for the sake of making the point, we’ll call it that.
What people get confused about is the death of Onan because of his withdrawal that led to him spilling his semen on the ground. The story is found in Genesis 38:6-9 and has four simple characters; Tarmar, Er, God, and Onan. Tamar and Er were married but because Er was a wicked man, he was removed from the face of the earth (killed). Jewish tradition (the law) required the brother (Onan) to marry and plant seed (have sex) for his brother Er in order to keep the legacy.
Onan while intimate with Tarmar withdraw and spilled his seed on the ground. Since Onan decided he did not want to produce offspring as required (against the law) and he was killed as well. This scripture is used against masturbation often in that when a man masturbates and ejaculates, his seed (semen) has no place to enter so it is spilled on the ground; the very sin Oman was killed for. For this reason, it ultimately suggests that masturbation is prohibited. It is a perfect example of a scripture that has been manipulated and twisted over the years and is passed down to generation after generation.
The issue of masturbation is biggest for unmarried Christian and single individuals. They want pleasure too without fornication and feel that masturbation is the safest way to achieve enjoyment without committing sin. The question however, isn’t about whether masturbation is right or wrong. Is it? No. The question is can you masturbate without committing mental adultery?
It is often our thoughts and not our actions that make us impure. Since this book is for Christian married couples we will discuss whether the act of masturbation can be performed without committing mental adultery.
There is nothing wrong with exploring your body for goodness sake, it’s your body, created by God and given to you to cherish. We all know that there are times when we can’t be near our spouse. In those times, think of your partner and how you feel when he/she is with you. What makes this process impure is thinking of your neighbor, you know the one next door that has those sexy pair of legs. Or thinking of the sacker at the grocery store with the amazing eyes. That’s what we mean by mental adultery. Forming a fantasy about someone other than your spouse and sexually placing him or her in your mental space.
We actually encourage Christian Couples (who are married only) to participate in some exercises alone away from the opposite spouse. In addition, the exercises work at their full potential when you develop your ability to experience the complete range of sexual sensations without the added stimulation of your partner’s presence.
For some Christians it seems weird and even absurd to spend money to better your sexual skills, but these are the same people who’ve given up on multiple orgasms and who have given up on enjoying great heart-throbbing sex like the first night all over again.
Some believe that the “skills” to be great and mighty in the bedroom are something that you are born with. With prayer and your humble heart, God will show you how you can improve your marriage and sexual intimacy.
Is Masturbation a Sin – How Do You Know?
Under what guidelines would masturbation not be a sin?
If you want to play 100% safe – these are the rules we would recommend living by.
You’re married and thinking about your spouse
You’re unmarried/single and able to masturbate without lusting after any one else. In other words, you can arouse yourself, and relieve yourself by being visually, emotionally, and physically stimulated all by yourself
More Clarity from Christian Sex 101
If you’re married and considered about masturbation, your worries should end here.
However, if you are a single man, woman, or over 18 boy or girl… and you’re looking looking for a “black and white” end-all answer that will ease your guilt so you won’t feel ashamed of any self pleasure you’d like to indulge in (if you haven’t already)…
… then you’re looking for an answer that may not exist to your liking. The real issue is that it challenges your entire belief system. There are hundreds of websites that publish facts AND opinion on the subject of Christian masturbation, but none of them will provide you with a definite answer because your belief system (Christianity) is in conflict with
- Your body’s desire for physical pleasure
- The Christian views you’ve known all your life
- Facts & opinions from others (including websites like this)
No matter how many facts are thrown at you, any conclusive answer regarding Christian sexuality will inevitably lead to you deciding whether or not you are 100% comfortable with living by the Christian guidelines or whether you are not.
You already know that your local church does not speak much on sexuality. You also know that the majority of Christianity teaching is AGAINST masturbation. It may be worth taking this matter up with God – if you are still feeling uncomfortable.
When 50% of Christians say no to masturbation and give facts to support their claim, and other 50% say yes – and give facts to support their claim. Which one can you believe… and feel certain about? It will ultimately rely on you…
December 9th, 2006 at 10:03 am
[...] « Christian Masturbation According To The Word of God [...]
July 11th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
I think if you are a married Christian Couple then if it is in the interest of both partners to do it then it should be observed as sinless between those couples.
August 1st, 2007 at 6:03 pm
On “Christian Masturbation According To The Word Of God”: This article did not answer the question on whether or not masturbation is allowed for singles. Is it, or is it not? Some say it is, others say it is not. Who’s right? I’ve been struggling with this issue for a long time after I became a saved and baptized Christian (five years since April 21, 2002 on getting saved, three years since August 8, 2004 on getting baptized) because everyone wants to tell me what I can and can’t do with my body and condemn me for masturbating just because they don’t, but no one can give me a straight answer on this subject because masturbation isn’t mentioned or even condemned anywhere in the Bible. And those who do say that masturbation IS mentioned in the Bible suddenly can’t remember where the exact scripture is, which suggests to me that they want to condemn me for it, but they don’t really want to help me. Will this topic EVER become a non-issue for both sides, and if so, WHEN? Please reply soon. Thanks!
November 1st, 2007 at 12:24 pm
For those who still regard sex as a “taboo”, God gave us to one another; to explore our bodies with our hands, our mouths, our tongues, our fingers, our breath and our eyes!! Proverbs says that when a man has found his wife, he has found the best thing for his life! Masturbation (both mutual or solo), anal sex, oral sex are to be enjoyed with the wife of your youth…she is the one that will pleasure you and bring you to a point of no return!! Like wise the man will pleasure her until she can’t anymore!!! This is why God created
our wonderful bodies to be shared bodily, spiritually, emotionally, physically and intimately!! Break down the walls that have come between you and your spouce and enjoy what God called good in the beginning!! God Bless!!!
November 19th, 2007 at 6:17 am
To whom it may concern:
I would appreciate it if someone can answer me on this. My email is leon@destiny.co.za. I stumbled upon this website, I am not married, I am 23 years of age. I got saved at the age of 19 after a rough lifestyle of drugs, alcohol, sexual immorality etc. I have been delivered and free for the last 5 years and am full-time ministry. Travelling, testifying and evangelising. I know I have a call of God upon my life, but have 1 problem. Since I have been saved I haven’t watched pornography or entered into that realm again. But i still struggle with masturbation, not even regularly maybe once a month or so, after doing everything to stop. I have searched the scriptures, prayed many hours a day, tried to cast out devils but nothing works. The body of Christ is very ignorant regards this subject and therefore it is very difficult for me to speak to someone, because I know how even ministers can condemn you for it. If I can get a bit of advice on this it would mean the world to me. Thank you so much
May 20th, 2008 at 8:29 am
Thank you for your veiws on masterbation within marriage. Please can you also expand on the other topics stated in the second paragraph of this article: anal and oral sex?
June 4th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
I understand that if you think about your partner when you can’t be together, and masterbate only thinking of them then that’s a good thing. But what about teens, or single Christians who have yet to get married. Who do they picture?
July 14th, 2008 at 1:42 am
In reply to Leon, about Masturbation:
I am 57 years old and a South African married Christian living in New Zealand.
I drove a big rig in the USA for a number of years and was obliged to masturbate when I was away from home, or go crazy.
There is absolutely no problem with masturbating. Your body needs to expel the ripened seed from time to time, in the same way that your body excretes other fluids – sweat, urine, faeces, saliva and so on. Your body tells you what you need. As jy juk, moet jy krap! If you’re hungry, your body craves food. If you need to squirt out your seed, you yearn for sex, or for the single person, to masturbate. It’s that simple. Don’t beat yourself up for the way God has wired you. I honestly believe that Jesus masturbated. He has was a red-blooded virile man, still single when He died at 33 years old.
There’s just one thing I want to ask you to do. When you do masturbate, really take your time about it. Bring yourself to the point of almost ejaculating, then slow down and prolong the enjoyment. When you are in control again, carry on, and see how many times you can almost get there before you can’t hold it back any more. That way, when you do get married, you won’t be plagued by premature ejaculation.
Another thing – don’t focus on a fantasy female partner. Just focus on your bodily sensations. Otherwise I think it might be getting into the realm of adulterous thoughts – just my opinion.
Even in marriage, it may be necessary to masturbate. I have to wait a long time sometimes for my wife to be ready for intimacy, otherwise it’s not all that enjoyable for her. When I wait for her to get good and hot, it’s so much sweeter for the waiting.
Feel free to help yourself to my free ebooks on http://www.a1-library.com/complementar.htm about massage for Christians. I think you’ll find the information helpful, too.
And for when you’re married, check out http://www.a1-shecomesfirst.info for fantastic information on how to give the woman you love the best possible experience of love-making, and really bless her.
Good luck, and Shalom
Paul
September 11th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
I believe masturbation, married or not, is not only morally wrong, but a hindrance to geniune intimacy in marriage. The reason I say that is because when we fantasize, even about our spouses, we run the risk molding that person into perfection, without the ever bothersome input of our spouse, something that can never be in reality. It becomes all about “ME” and what “I would like”. I can only see this as causing frustration between both spouses, but particularly for the masturbating spouse who comes to learn that his or her spouse can never fulfill the perfect fantasy they have been using to become aroused. With geniune intimacy we are embracing that entire person, flaws and all, and learn that by giving we receive far more pleasure than if we are getting everything we might like.
Also concerning me, is the issue of oxytocin, which I would think would compound the problem above. It is my understanding that men and women both release oxytocin during orgasm, which is the chemicle that enables people to bond. The same chemicle that is released during breastfeeding and produces that unconditional love of a mother towards her child. When masturbating, just what are you bonding to? A fantasy of a person that you have manipulated into your own ideal mold, or an actual person who is not created merely for your pleasure, but has their own likes, dislikes, ideas, feelings, etc.?
With the utmost respect and humility, I think it’s dangerous ground you’re treading on here.
September 11th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
Genuine intimacy requires honesty and open-ness. If we could just all get to the point where we can say – honey… I do like this, honey I don’t like that. Sex would be a lot more enjoyable.
The same way that you don’t want one spouse cooking vegetables if the other spouse doesn’t want it. Intimacy is not just one particular thing. There are times where one spouse can be the giver and the other the receiver; there are times when both spouses can please each other. The problem is, most people aren’t able to do that.
The real point though; is to be sexually satisfied within the marriage. And we can talk about this all day long but… as we begin to get older and mature; we need to also keep in mind that there IS a level of sexual unhappiness. If one spouse feels sexually unsatisfied; then there is a problem and it may even be worth terminating the entire relationship; if all else fails.
What I don’t believe in, is committing to a lifetime to sexual unhappiness. Masturbation, married or not; can be enjoyed and it should be. This is where 99% of problems start, if you are unable to learn and understand your body; you will never fully be able to GIVE or RECEIVE that pleasure with your spouse.
If you are unable to masturbate without FORCING a fantasy/unrealistic image of your spouse in your head… then that is a true testament that perhaps you are not sexually attracted to your spouse.
What you have identified… is a quick and easy way to determine deeper sexual issues that stretch far beyond masturbation and oxytocin.
September 11th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
“If you are unable to masturbate without FORCING a fantasy/unrealistic image of your spouse in your head… then that is a true testament that perhaps you are not sexually attracted to your spouse.”
The problem I see is that nobody, when masturbating and thinking about their spouse, is going to conjure up the thoughts about that person that they don’t find so attractive. They are taking from that person what they like and leaving what they don’t particularly like, when in reality, this can’t be done. The person as a whole must be embraced.
I also must say I disagree with you that sexual unhappiness is ever a good reason to terminate a marital relationship. After reading the title of this blog I was under the impression that this was a biblical blog. The Bible only permits divorce in cases of adultery. All married couples face sexual problems some time in their marriages. The key is to be committed enough to work through them by the grace of God. Jesus said “What God has put together, let no man put asunder.”
September 12th, 2008 at 1:08 am
This is NOT a biblical blog for this very reason. It is a blog related to improving sexual intimacy within the Christian marriage.
While I can point out a scripture or you can as well, most often – unless you speak Hebrew and can look at the Hebrew text and read it, or you have researched it, or you speak Hebrew — then this is a loophole conversation that will never-end. Your basis is biblical based on what you read from the Bible you purchased at Christian Bookstore that was translated and then manufactured from a printing factory.
I’d love to have this conversation with you though, when you have studied the ORIGINAL texts (Hebrew) AND the text in the BIBLE. Yes and starting from Malachi chapter 2
The printed bible you refer to is the *END* of a story translated from a writer, and another writer and another writer, who lived under different laws, rules, and moral codes. We will NEVER get to the bottom of living as Christians or being happy sexually if we continue to blatantly ignore the fact that The Bible we are taught from, the Bible that we read – is a funneled version of original text. 99% of people doing the reading and teaching don’t STUDY, don’t RESEARCH, don’t READ, don’t SPEAK, don’t THINK hebrew or jewish text.
(And furthermore are too busy or too afraid to dig it up)
Do you have any idea of what it would be like… if you actually did the research and suddenly discovered… that the other 99% of people are DEAD WRONG too?
What I am confirming with you, is that many it is easy to name a scripture that you read from a Bible to support a fact. I am not going to do that here because I don’t need to. The Bible is necessary, we need it, but you should also understand what it is — and where it came from. Not just what you end up with after you paid $19.95 for it.
You can not apply a 10 word scripture to an entire subject matter in the Bible, unless you study the laws, the history and the time. Marriage is not slavery; nor is it bondage…and IF you study the New Covenant, you will understand more clearly how the Apostles, Paul, and Jesus handled and spoke of Divorce and the parameters of which a spouse could divorce and re-marry.
Let me say this another way – This is the equivalent of watching CNN and saying “CNN newsanchors suggest Gov Sarah Palin is the worst VP presidential pick in the history of this country” when in fact; no one at CNN has ever done the research to figure out the facts of Gov Sarah Palin.
The goal here is to help couples explore sexuality to the fullest; to break THESE kind of psychological-repressing-mental-society-church-uninformed constraints that plague Christian marriages throughout the world. I don’t think this website is intended for these kind of mindsets at all.
Now you can clearly see why I love this website, and how we aim to help Christians really discover what’s real and what’s not. It’s a decision that you have to make. Your sexuality and your relationship with God; is really in your hands – you should be diligent in learning the word of God if you really want to go forward and get the best out of both. It won’t matter what I say, what you say, or what the printing company says.
What will matter though, is that you FULLY understand… the books of the bible
Not just the Black book with the Gold text on the outside.
September 12th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
I must respectfully disagree with your assumptions.
I do know where my Bible came from. I have researched and I also study the Hebrew and Greek words. There’s enough programs and Bible tools online so that it’s not hard to do. I admit I’m not an expert, but I’ve never encountered any reason whatsoever for justifying such a criticism of the english translations after comparing translations and looking at the original Hebrew and Greek. I admit, there are a few mistakes that I’ve come across. They’re unavoidable when translating, but nothing to cause me to mistrust my Bible. I haven’t just pulled a few Scriptures out here and there to support my beliefs on marriage. I believe what is consistent throughout the entire Bible, what the early church also believed, and in this case what the Jews also hold to be true.
I suppose we differ in that I believe and hold fast to 2Tim 3:16.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (Albeit, the original Scriptures are inerrant, not the translations).
You are entitled to your own beliefs about the Bible, but the honest thing to do would be to forthrightly let Christians know that you do not hold the Bible to be inerrant or authoritative. Your blog post title is called “Christian Masturbation According To The Word of God”, but much of what you’ve said can’t be found in the word of God, and unfortunately some of it is contrary to the word of God. Christians are reading this believing this is a biblical blog. They have that right to know before deciding whether or not to follow your advice that it is not, nor are you a biblical Christian.
Thank you for the time you’ve taken to respond to my criticisms.
September 27th, 2008 at 7:03 am
I was dissapointed I thought that this article was going to provide some insights or priniciples from the Bible as the title suggested, yet it seems the author only wanted to ramble his own opinions rather than expound what God has said in His word about this subject.
I suggest you go to 1 Corinthians and look at all the principles that Paul gives to the Corinthians on what the right motive is in doing something that pleases the Lord. That would be a good start. Paul did his best not to tell them this is right and this is not but provided principles that should govern our Christian freedom.
Example: They said, “all things are permissible.” He replies not with a list of what is and what is not permissible. He replies “all things are not beneficial.” And while you say “all things are permissible” in Christ, he says “I will not do anything that causes me to be mastered by anything.”
Just two examples of what the Bible says are clear principles about how to handle Christian freedom.
October 31st, 2008 at 9:17 pm
After browsing thru these comments, I fail to see any real answer/Bible documentation for the answer to, is it wrong for Christian singles to masturbate? My own personal question about this, would be, is it wrong if one is not fantasizing about anyone? But rather just releasing hormonal/sexual tension?