Christian Sex And Communication In Marriage
Let’s face it. Sometimes you want to curse, sometimes you want to kick and you want to scream. But you know just like I know that it won’t do any good. It just feels good to release the tension after an argument, during an argument, or when you find out that this is the 11th time you asked your honey pie to stop leaving the toilet seat up.
This is a minor issue but it’s going to come up, like ammo waiting to be fired. When one spouse makes a personal attack it doesn’t make it right for you to fire back with a hefty response. One way to avoid this is to use the right words. Words have a variety of meaning and can evoke different moods if you use them correctly. Let’s just focus on the word “You”.
Here is a way to remember it – You D.u.n.g.
Focusing on “YOU” does “US” No Good.
When you are responding to your lover in the middle of a heated debate or you notice that things are starting to head that way – try the you dung method. Instead of using the word you try words like:
USE WORDS
- We
- Us
- Myself Included
- I know we
- I want to
- I can
- I will
- If I can
- AND
AVOID WORDS:
- But
- Yes, but
- No, but
- Whatever you say.
- No
Try your absolute hardest with all your might to avoid those words and you will see a positive shift in the way the conversation ends. For example your spouse says:
“Bill, everytime I ask you to come home early to spend time with me you always have some pitiful excuse of how you’re working late or how you had to meet with bob.”
Bill’s typical response might be like:
“But you already knew about this before I accepted the job Sara, why do you keep hassling me over this issue. Can’t we talk about something else?”
Bill’s YOU D.u.n.g response would be something like:
“Sarah, I know and I may have underestimated the amount of time this would take away from you. This may be something we have to talk more about and I do want to spend time with you. I can try to spend more time with you on the weekends and in the mornings.”
Which response would likely yield better response? This does not mean that this will end the entire conversation, or that it will stop your spouse from throwing hot water on you 
BUT it will more often than not begin to transition the conversation into a more peaceful atmosphere where you can really uncover other issues or other concerns that your spouse may not have mentioned initially.
If you can keep and open ear and try to help think through some of the reasons why your spouse may feel uncomfortable with [insert your situation/problem here], then you will make it far easier to get a peaceful resolve AND possibly…………. end the night with a great round of love making. 
Isn’t that much better?
